0:19am, sunday, 23-12-01 [the moment i write this down]

"..oww! how great! our hood is having a christmas-in? no kidding? well,
that's great mam!..too bad i can't make it tomorrow, i'm spending the weekend
at dad's remember?

although i was unable to break my mother's delightness, i managed to lie about
how great her christmas-in would be, cuz it wouldn't..for me though..
a christmas-in is a festivity where all the people from an hood (juzt a couple of streets)
all come together to celebrate christmas early with an outside picnick..
i couldn't even think of the thought that my my coke would be freezin' juzt of the
blithering cold we're having during an outside-winter-picnic..let alone the
conversations there would take place..

..people were asked to bring their own plates,cutlery and glasses, i find myself
standing towards the living room table with the official invitation in my hand..
it looks like crap, my asshole-neighbour must've made it before copying it a couple of
dozen times..the asshole's always complaning about me cycling too fast through
the narrow paths between the yards..like i care, i have to get my oversleeped-ass as
fast as i can to school..so what if i ran over a young child...i'l help him get up as soon as
i get back from school..

that evening, at diner, my mother's telling all excited about the christmas-in to my
brother and stephfather..just as i had expected they we're positive as hell about the
little social evening....my impatience grew..i held my breath..i got all red and purple..
drops of sweat wer're roling down my face..the temptation to breath got too big..
i opened my mouth and inhaled the indonesian fragant air that was flowing around..
after this, i knew i couldn't shut my mouth anymore..
.."so mam, what kind of conversations do you have on an christmas-in? i mean, what do
people from the same street talk about??", my voice switched over to a sarcastic and annoying one..
..i started some fictitious converstations..

"psst! have you seen those people on the corner? they just moved-in...i heard they're
katholic!..katholic! can you imagine!....and their curtains...iewww!..those are ssooo wrong!

"hey john! how's business! have you seen our new chainsaw?..yeah haha, you can see my
trees are looking pretty good he?..i prefer using it on a sunday morning!"

"mark! we're not going to the christmas-in without some proper plates okay!..
(but martha..)..NO!! how do you want the neighbours to think about us he?!..we're buying
ourselves some really expensive silver plates..i dont like the girls to gossip around
about our income.."

..those poor souls..trying to impress eachother's neighbours..i wondered wye
people would want that..wanting to get some r-e-s-p-e-c-t jusssst before they get home...
there's probably none of it when they actually get home..this christmas-in is all
about getting some sort of social status, am i the only who's keeping our households hood-reputation low
by insulting and beating-up irritating little kids and grandpa's down the street because they
annoy me?..my whole neighbourhood is acting like they're all so close, but in fact, they all hate
hate eachother...i know i have to be lucky cuz my mom doesn't really like the people from our street
...the only one she's know's quite well are the next-door neighbours..they're okay though..

"..wye are you always so pessimistic about these things..you're just like your dad" my mam said.
my brother almost choked in his food and so did my stephfather..they wer're laughing like hell
about my cheap-imitations...did they actually agreed with me, or was my teen-age point of view just
too funny for them to actually swallow their food in stead off spitting it around..?